The Mathamatics of Club Photography

The Mathamatics of Club Photography

Ah club photography for year it’s what I’ve done and what I do it’s almost unique in image making events and circles everyone thinks they can do it, few can, many try and much like throwing paint at a canvas eventually you’ll come up with a masterpiece..Everyone thinks it’s an amazing job, late nights, early morning edits, free drinkies, free entry etcetera..I know, I know I can hear a very small violin being tuned up…

So many people do adopt different approaches, SBH’s is to just to stick with it and like old buildings and prostitutes if you stick around long enough you become respected but as I’ve found normal rules don’t often apply to the photographic and the club, it’s unique in the bizarre juxtaposition of people, place and experiences too* I have often said that clubs and traffic jams are the only true mixing place of people, customs, cultures and thoughts..BUT it depends on the night, crowd, your own headspace, perception and timing and in the words of Guetta

…you put your luck in someone else’s hands..”

So how to make sense of this and more specifically this brings me to the amount of images taken in a night and I’ve come up with a rather superb formula, to get there we have to look at the biggest contributing factors are as follows:

We have people (P) x Music (L) / headspace (O) + CoolForSchoolness (X) x Luck (Y)

or PLOXY for short…

Now the PLOXY conundrum can decide your basic number of shots per night but to understand this you need to understand the actual mathematics of Club photography and this comes down to:

Venue (V) / atmosphere (a) / Attitude (A) so for example we’ll use a club with a 100 people

So we’ll start with people shots, most club photography requirements involve dividing them into groups to photograph usually into groups of 4’s and 2’s. So lets do that in a 60/40 split so we’ll go for10 groups of 4 and 30 groups of 2 people

So you have a grand total of 40 shots per 100 clubbers

Now other factors come into play here as not everyone will want their picture talking, for a myriad of reasons…Work/Appearance/Soberness/Uppiness/Partner or as I’ve come to use the acronym WASUP

Now the WasUp syndrome is variant in it’s degree so in this case we’ll apply it at a low 15%

So we come out with 34 shots of people

Next up we need to add is the dance floor (D) Interesting (I) Arty (a) application (a favourite of SBH is things found on the club floor…money, suspicious looking small quantity bags and clothing most notably !) or used by the acronym DIA

This comes down to the location, crowds and venue so smaller numbers mean less dance-floor, boring people mean less interesting and soulless venues mean less arty so we’ll work this out as a percentage of the PLOXY say per 100 we’ll apply the DIA scale as a generous 20% so that adds another 20 shots to the mix.

So we have the total number of shots per 100 as 54

All using the PLOXY + WasUp + DIA scale you arrive at the

Acceptable ratio and expectant shot ratio

As a caveat though an increase in people does not automatically increase the Acceptable ratio and expectant shot ratio (ArSe)

Thank you for reading I’m going to take a tablet and have a lie down now..

*(…wait that’s not how clubbing is anymore????? You’re saying that clubbing now is more herd like in attitude and style….nooooooooooooooooooooooo….

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